Today, the people you spend the most time with aren’t always sitting in your living room or standing on the court with you. Some of them live inside the glass screen in your pocket.

And you didn’t necessarily choose them.

An automated recommendation engine picks much of what you see, designed by engineers whose goal is to keep your eyes on the screen for one more second.

So when we ask young people, “Who do you follow?” we’re no longer just asking for a list of social media handles. We’re asking a much bigger question:

Who are you letting shape your worldview, your standards and your baseline for what feels normal?

Your Digital Circle Matters

In a world of endless news cycles, timeline scrolling and creator content, we’re reminded of an old piece of wisdom passed down through generations: you are the company you keep.

The people around you can shape your habits, your outlook and your idea of what feels normal. If you spend your time around grounded, curious and hardworking people, you may naturally start to follow their example. If you spend your days surrounded by cynical, disengaged or negative voices, those can influence you too.

For generations, that rule made practical sense. We had more control over the company we kept. We chose the mentors we listened to, the friends we invited into our homes and the voices we allowed to shape our character.

That boundary has now become much harder to define.

Your social circle isn’t limited to the people you see in real life anymore. It can include creators you’ve never met, influencers whose lives you follow every day and strangers whose opinions show up on your feed.

And unlike the people you choose to spend time with in real life, you may not even realize how much of your digital circle is being selected for you.

The Pleasure Problem: Unearned Dopamine

Human biology evolved around a fairly straightforward sequence: effort first, reward second.

For generations, dopamine was part of the reward system involved in finishing a chore, tending a garden, mastering a musical piece, solving a difficult problem or working together to help a community. You had to work through mental or physical effort to reach the payoff.

That friction served a purpose. It helped build patience, focus and a sense of accomplishment because satisfaction came after real engagement.

Modern technology can flip that sequence.

Now, stimulation can be instant, constant and almost effortless.

You wake up, reach for your phone and immediately enter a world of notifications, videos, messages and updates before your feet even touch the floor.

Pull down to refresh.

A 15-second clip makes you laugh.

A notification makes you feel noticed.

An outrage headline grabs your attention.

Another video starts before you’ve even decided whether you want to watch it.

The reward keeps coming, and there’s almost no effort required to get it.

Earned vs. Unearned Pleasure

Your brain’s reward system responds to pleasurable and rewarding experiences, whether you’ve worked for them or not.

When you flood your attention with effortless stimulation, activities that require patience and sustained effort can start to feel less appealing by comparison.

Why would a teenager want to spend an hour working through difficult chemistry homework, reading a challenging book or practicing drills at the gym when a smartphone can deliver an endless stream of stimulation in seconds?

This doesn’t mean young people are lazy.

It means we’re living in an environment where distraction is incredibly easy to access.

And when easy stimulation becomes the default, hard things can start to feel even harder.

Skibidi Toilet, Brain Rot and Empty Calories

Ask an educator or parent what kids are watching today, and eventually you’ll probably hear about Skibidi Toilet.

What is it exactly? A meme? A song? An animated series? A subculture? Something else entirely?

Nobody over the age of 20 seems completely sure.

What we do know is that millions of young people have been captivated by it.

Psychiatrist Dr. Alok Kanojia, better known online as Dr. K from Healthy Gamer, has discussed this type of rapid, highly stimulating internet content in relation to what internet culture calls “brain rot.”

The term is informal, but the idea is familiar: fast-paced, repetitive or chaotic content that grabs your attention without necessarily giving you much depth in return.

Not all silly content is harmful. Sometimes, watching something ridiculous is exactly what you need after a long day.

The concern is what happens when this becomes the majority of what you’re consuming.

Dr. K has used a memorable analogy to explain how our reward system can respond to highly stimulating activities: imagine your morning dopamine reserve as a fresh lemon full of juice.

When you wake up, the lemon is full.

If you start your morning with quiet, grounded routines like making breakfast, packing your bag or having a conversation, a gentle squeeze gives you plenty of juice. You can still feel motivated and engaged without needing a huge amount of stimulation.

The trap happens when the very first thing you do is open an algorithmic feed.

Rapid video cuts. Loud audio. Notifications. Constant novelty. Instant entertainment.

It’s like squeezing that lemon as hard as you can first thing in the morning.

By the time you sit down at school or work, the analogy goes, there’s less left to squeeze.

A chapter of a book can suddenly feel boring. A lesson can feel difficult to follow. Homework can feel almost impossible to start.

Not necessarily because you’re lazy, but because your brain has become accustomed to a much higher level of stimulation.

Dr. K has discussed this idea in relation to how highly stimulating activities can make lower-stimulation activities feel less rewarding by comparison.

The Real Cost: Dopamine, Attention and Social Isolation

When your inner circle is increasingly dictated by an algorithm, the effects can go beyond your attention span.

Young people today are growing up in an environment where entertainment, socializing, school, news and even friendships can all happen through a screen.

Canadian research has found associations between higher screen use and several well-being outcomes among youth, including mental health, stress and life satisfaction. Current Canadian research also shows that social media and personal screen time are closely connected to youth mental health indicators, although these relationships are complex and do not mean screen time alone causes mental health problems.

One of the biggest concerns is what happens when online interaction starts replacing real-world connection.

Real human connection requires reading facial expressions, navigating awkward pauses, listening to someone’s tone and holding comfortable eye contact.

When socialization is replaced by direct messages, comment sections and parasocial feeds, young people may have fewer opportunities to practice those skills.

Stepping into a real-world room can then feel intimidating, which can make the predictable comfort of a screen even more appealing.

The physical body can also feel the effects of constant screen use.

Late-night scrolling, notifications and the temptation to keep checking your phone can interfere with sleep. Research involving Canadian adolescents has found associations between intense or problematic social media use and poorer sleep health.

And when young people aren’t getting enough quality sleep, focus, mood and decision-making can suffer.

That can create an exhausting, self-feeding loop:

Scroll late → sleep less → feel tired → struggle to focus → reach for your phone → repeat.

The Good News: Focus Is Adaptable

It’s easy to look at the state of technology and feel overwhelmed.

But human biology is resilient.

The great news lies in neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to adapt and change in response to experiences and habits.

The same adaptability that allows us to develop habits around technology also gives us the ability to change those habits.

Your dopamine receptors aren’t permanently destroyed.

The brain can adapt to repeated levels of stimulation, and reward systems can change over time. Dr. Kanojia has discussed this concept in relation to tolerance and the brain adjusting to repeated high stimulation.

When young people understand how these apps are designed to capture attention, the dynamic can start to change.

Nobody likes feeling manipulated.

Once you realize that major technology companies have built platforms around keeping users engaged for as long as possible, putting the phone down can feel less like giving something up and more like taking back control of your attention.

Focus Isn’t Dead. It Simply Requires Friction.

When you introduce intentional boundaries, protect your mornings and embrace the discomfort of doing difficult things, your brain can begin to adjust.

It won’t necessarily happen overnight.

But the more often you practice focusing without constant stimulation, the more comfortable that focus can become.

Books can become interesting again.

Real conversations can feel richer.

A difficult assignment can feel satisfying once it’s finished.

And completing something challenging can give you a sense of accomplishment that scrolling through a feed can’t quite replicate.

You don’t need to delete every social media app or throw your phone away.

The goal is to make sure your phone is a tool in your life, not the thing running it.

Reclaiming Your Circle: Quick Takeaways

For Parents

Protect the first 60 minutes. Consider keeping phones and tablets charging outside bedrooms overnight. Starting the morning without digital noise can give young people space to ease into the day before opening their feeds.

Normalize boredom. Don’t treat boredom like an emergency that needs to be solved with a screen. Boredom can give the brain space to create, explore and discover new interests.

Model the standard. Take a look at your own technology habits too. Let your kids see you reading physical pages, building things with your hands and having uninterrupted, face-to-face conversations.

For Youth

Audit who you let in. Look at the accounts you interact with every day. Ask yourself honestly: Is this content building my skills, confidence or curiosity, or is it mostly numbing me out?

Earn your dopamine. Try putting the reward after the work. Finish the workout, complete the assignment or get through practice first. Let the screen be a small reward, not the starting point of your day.

Use the two-minute rule. When a difficult project feels impossible to start, don’t argue with yourself. Commit to just two minutes of focused effort. Once you break through that first bit of resistance, momentum can make it easier to keep going.

Make real plans. Don’t just send your friend another TikTok. Ask them to grab food, go for a walk, play a game or hang out in person.

You Choose Who Shapes Your Mind

You hold more power over your digital environment than you might think.

You can’t control everything an algorithm puts in front of you. But you can decide who you follow, what you engage with, what you give your attention to and when you put the phone down.

Your digital circle is still a circle.

The people you follow and the content you consume can influence your habits, your expectations and what feels normal.

Article Contributors & Sources

  • Eugene Unrau: Written from real-world experience coaching youth, mentoring students, and seeing firsthand how digital habits affect focus and motivation.
  • SOS Safety Magazine Partners: Funded by local businesses and advertisers who make it possible to deliver free safety and wellness resources to Canadian schools.
  • Dr. Alok Kanojia (Dr. K / Healthy Gamer): Clinical insights on internet brain rot, how algorithmic feeds drain our daily dopamine, and why modern screens leave kids feeling bored.
  • Dr. John C. Maxwell (The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, 1998): Foundational leadership teachings on the “Law of the Inner Circle” and why the company you keep directly shapes your standards, habits, and mindset.
  • Miyamoto Musashi (The Dokkōdō, 1645): A historic set of principles on self-discipline, letting go of easy comfort, and choosing hard effort over cheap distractions.
  • AI Research and Writing Assistance: Developed collaboratively with artificial intelligence to help organize research, outline concepts, and refine drafts alongside human writers.