Do you have that gut-wrenching, pit-in-your-stomach, aching, devasted feeling right now?

The feeling that genuinely feels like it’ll never go away – the feeling that follows you to bed at night and wakes up with you in the morning. Are you in the midst of rewriting the future that you thought was all planned out? Do you have to teach yourself to somehow, eventually be vulnerable again? Are you riddled with anger, confusion, and maybe even a deep sense of longing?

You know, heartbreak?

Otherwise known as one of the worst feelings humanly possible.

Unfortunately, there is no cookie-cutter way to move on from a breakup. No matter how you slice it, the entire process will be messy and painful. However, there are a few little tips and tricks I’ve learned over a series of heartbreaks that might be helpful.

Feel your hurt

There is no pain quite like heartbreak. By avoiding the tears and ignoring the sadness, you’re only going to end up carrying your hurt for longer. Sometimes, it might seem too painful, and you might want to push through it – but don’t. FEEL it. Ugly cry, eat three pints of Ben & Jerry’s, and pick yourself up when the worst of it is over.

Find your OWN closure

After a relationship, so many people say “I just need closure”, as if their key to healing is in the hands of the person that broke their heart.

You were an active part of the relationship – it’s pitfalls and strengths. You have to be present enough to have the ability to provide your own closure. People will only tell you what they want to say to you. Your plea for closure likely won’t change that.

Know your worth

It’s YOUR job to set your standards. Be fearless in knowing your worth. Regardless of how much you love somebody, you need to be headstrong in how you deserve to be treated. Nobody else can stand your ground for you.

A good person does not mean they are good for you

There are so many hilarious, kind, wonderful people out there, however, that does not mean that they are right for you! Relationships are based hugely on chemistry: how two people flow together.

A relationship is like a puzzle – a lot of pieces have to come together to show the entire picture.
You can appreciate a good person, yet know that they aren’t right for you. Which, your ex likely isn’t if they’ve broken your heart and you’re reading this article.

Do not victimize or “villainize”

It is so easy to become hateful, angry and toxic when you’re suffering from heartbreak. There may be a time where anger helps you heal, and that’s okay – but ultimately, leave it with love. The pain may be more challenging to feel than rage is, but it’s also more productive.

Remember that a relationship has two counterparts that are often both to blame for a relationship not working out. Let yourself acknowledge this and walk away with understanding and fairness.

A better door won’t open until you’ve learned to close the last one.

… and you will keep making the same mistakes until you LEARN from them. So take your time to heal, and eventually, when you’re ready, pick yourself up and be open to new experiences with new people.

Through love and heartbreak, you can learn so much. However, you have to put these lessons to use and learn from them for the universe to grant you something better and stronger.

Breakups are the WORST! They are especially hard when you’re a teenager, and you’ve opened your heart up to somebody for the first time. But it does get better.

Be patient with your healing and be kind to yourself.

Written by Celina Dawdy