Divorce is never easy. Neither for you nor your child!

Couples usually make many attempts to save their relationship – primarily for their children. However, when they fail at keeping the family together, parents worry most about the future of their children.

I value this heeding sense of parents. That’s why the divorce ratio for couples with kids is 40%  less than for those without having kids.

But for kids, their parent’s separation is stressful; rebounding is never easy for them.

It’s a statistical fact that your divorce will be painful for your children. Divorce was your decision, not theirs.

They will endure pain from the moment they know divorce is underway.

When one parent leaves the family home, love to and from that parent becomes something a child visits but cannot live with.

Their stress directly inherits from the uncertainty:

  • What will happen now?
  • What does this separation and child custody mean?

Stress is also acutely linked to the lifestyle changes that divorce brings to children.

1) Children under the age of 13 have difficulty understanding that spousal love gone sour does not mean that their parents’ love for them might be temporary. When parents divorce, these concerns can stab at the heart of a child.

2) Young children tend to think that they are to blame for their parents’ breakup and will often try to patch things up and fix the marriage.

3) Research has revealed that the first two years are the most struggling phase for kids. Sadness, distress, sleep disturbances, anger, anxiety, and shame – kids are likely to undergo these negative emotions.

4) Worst of all, kids might get a detachment from the family and use substances like drugs, cigarettes, and alcohol.

Sometimes two people just can’t get along no matter how hard they try.

However, if there are children involved, you will always have to hold some sort of relationship.

You should try to get along despite your opposition on certain issues and should work towards – raising your kid healthily.

Here You Go with Co-Parenting

Even in the case of a divorce, a child needs to be raised by both parents. For your child’s natural mental growth, they need love, care, and teachings from both of you. Children need the safety of having both the mother and the father as a vital part of their lives.

Co-parenting serves as an effort to disturb the child’s life as little as possible.

When both parents pledge to work together to focus on the best care of the child, that child has a better opportunity of growing into a healthy adult, which should be every parent’s goal in the first place.

Love, in word and act, must be the eternal response to the child’s emotional impediments.

Set Some Basic Rules:

If even one parent attempts to do what is most desirable for the kids, it is a tremendous step, and eventually, the other partner might notice the family values and respond equally.

Here is the ideal solution – Both parents sit together and agree to co-parent the children following some basic needs. This way, things get moving smoothly in favour of your kid’ overall growth:

  1. Act as Adults: Problems between you should remain with you. Asking your kid to get involved is cruel to your child. Asking them about the other parent’s life or new relationships is not fair to them.

Taking responsibility for their actions and forgiveness are both important.

  1. Let the Child Be Relaxed: Let them decide their best friends, their games of choice, and let them focus on academics.

It shouldn’t be the child who worries about pending bills, or whether daddy is paying for child support or not.

  1. Strictness Isn’t the Solution Anymore, Admit it: In some cases, kids spend different months with both mother and father, separately.

Thus, kids have to deal with different rules for both of their homes. Don’t throw out unnecessary rules on kids and respect their happiness.

A small difference in the way things are done in another home isn’t going to cripple the child. Let them enjoy the company of your ex-spouse.

  1. For Major Concerns, Come up with Cumulative Decisions: Going through a discussion about the future of your child? In that case, all families should be included in the decision.

At least, they have the ethical responsibility to keep each other informed of anything that could have lifelong consequences.

  1. Talk to Your Kids: If you want co-parenting to bring excellent results, communication is the key. You need to come over past things and stop blaming others. Instead, focus on the children and talk to them as much as possible.

The energy you put into supporting your children to overcome the effects of the divorce will be returned to you a hundredfold.

When your children are grown, they will be there for you as you were there for them.

Article by Mich Rebecca