How do you feel when you look in the mirror? When you meet new people? Have an argument with a friend of someone in your family? All these parts of our world can lead back to how we feel about ourselves. If we are lacking in confidence these situations will be really difficult. Although we all feel down on ourselves at times when we’re growing up and working out how life, people and our feelings work – it can be extra hard if you don’t like yourself.

How can you change this? Well, first you need to be truthful about how you feel toward yourself. Think about the first three words that come to mind when you think about yourself. Write them down. Now take a look – are they positive, negative or a mixture? Were you even able to write anything down? Don’t worry about what you wrote – this is all helpful for you to notice.

Do you know where these words have come from? Have you been told this by people in your class, friendship group, parents or people close to you?

Looking to other people to work out if you are worthwhile is NATURAL but it can make us feel unsure and at times unhappy. One of the biggest things that we can hold onto is the opinions of others. Although we might look for others to like us and to approve of what we’re doing, they aren’t RIGHT in their opinion. This is a tough thing to hold on to and believe, but just because someone labels you a certain way doesn’t make it true. If you can hold on to the fact that people have their own insecurities, their own stuff, you’ll start to understand why that makes them not the best judge of your own character.

We need to start with ourselves, our voices, our minds and thoughts – so here’s a way to try…. I’m asking you this because once you know how you think about yourself (even a rough guess) you can start to work on it.

I want you to try these few steps:

  1. Go to the mirror with your words
  2. Say aloud ‘I know I have believed that I am…. But the people who made me believe this were WRONG’
  3. I want you to replace those words with ones that you would like to be. If you’re not sure, think of someone you look up to… How would you like to be like them? Confident? Happy?
  4. Say to yourself as soon as you wake up ‘ I am ….’ With the words you thought of about the person you’d like to be.
  5. If you can, do this at the mirror. If this is too much, don’t worry. Start with saying it in your head as often as you can.

We can’t change other people but we can change how we think about ourselves. It’s a tough skill to master, but often the most important skills we have to learn come from our toughest challenges.

For more advice follow @citypsychchick on insta, DM questions, or email me: prowsemegan@gmail.com.

Article by Megan Prowse.
Instagram: @citypsychchick