We’ve all heard a thousand tips on HOW to be happy – as if there is some golden key or paved path on the road to happiness.

We’ve all been told to be passionate.

We’ve all been told to be kind.

We’ve always been told to smile even though you don’t want to because the endorphins will make you happy.

We rarely talk about the everyday things we do that are standing as roadblocks on our journey to happiness.

So, let’s talk about it. What are nine things NOT to do if you want to be happy?

Compare Yourself to Other People

We are the WORST for this, especially in today’s digital age.

We see the successful entrepreneurs releasing their E-Book on how they retired at 24. We follow the fitness guru showing off her six-pack even after she had a 6000-calorie cheat meal. We see the Instagram-worthy couple that began with a storybook meet-cute. We even see our best friend from childhood buy the SUV you’ve been dreaming about for years.

It’s impossible not to compare yourself to other people.

But don’t.

Maybe you have to delete Instagram to do this. Perhaps you have to take a breather from your friendships. Maybe you have to look in the mirror and remind yourself that no amount of jealousy will make your situation better.

Wishing you had what someone else has won’t give you the golden ticket.

The millionaire might not have your humour. The fitness guru might not have your kindness. The romantic couple may not have the bushels of memories that make you who you are.

Focus on your strengths and work toward a life that offers you everything you could have ever dreamt of.

Surround Yourself with People That Don’t Feed Your Soul

All relationships are critical in the groundwork of who we are.

Your family, your friends, your romantic pursuits.

They all hold a chip in your life. To some degree, they always will.

Be choosy on these people. Only give the chip to people that make you better.

All of your relationships should be supportive, equal, and kind. It’s easy to get caught up in relationships that aren’t a good fit for YOU.

Energy is contagious. So, choose the people in your life with high energy.

Not Forgive People That Have Wronged You

Leave it with love.

All things. No matter how painful or trying a period or person in your life was. Leave it with love.

By holding grudges and denying forgiveness, the only person that you are bringing down is YOURSELF.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha

Follow Trends for the Wrong Reasons

It doesn’t matter what looked good on the cover of People Magazine. If it makes you uncomfortable, then don’t do it.

Make your own trends.

Think the Grass Is Always Greener on the Other Side

This thought process will never bring you peace.

If you’re always looking for the next best thing, then you’ll never appreciate what is right in front of you.

Nurture what you have. Appreciate what you have.

Acknowledge how blessed YOU are with what you have.

Try to Make Yourself Smaller

Are you “too much”?

Maybe your laugh is too loud. Maybe you’re too emotional. Maybe you’re too much of a perfectionist. Maybe you’re too enthusiastic.

You’re probably too much for some people.

But, stop trying to make yourself smaller.

Your “too much” is your strength.

Feel Entitled

Do you wish the world would just give you a break?

You’ve spent YEARS getting that degree. You should get your dream job, right?

You’ve gotten your heart broken SO MANY TIMES. You should find a fairytale romance, right?

You’ve been on the team for years. You should get promoted to Captain, right?

Wrong.

The universe doesn’t owe you anything.

Get your dream job because you can apply all your knowledge and YOU are the best fit for the job.

Get your fairytale romance because your failed relationships taught you what you want and you FOUND the perfect someone for you.

Become the Captain because you give 100% on the field and there’s no better leader on the team.

Complain About the Things You’re Not Willing to Change

Do you have a cheating boyfriend/girlfriend, but you won’t leave the relationship?

Do you have a toxic friend that you aren’t ready to let go of?

Do you get Ds in school, but you don’t want to study more?

It’s not fair for you to extend YOUR negative energy to somebody else by constantly complaining when you’re not willing to make a change.

If you’re so unhappy with something that you’re willing to spend your time complaining about it, then take the driver’s seat and CHANGE IT.

With all things, ask yourself one thing: Is it hurting you or is it helping you?

Only move towards the things that are helping to heal you.

Think That You Aren’t Extraordinary

You have the power to change the world.

You have the power to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you have ever dreamt of.

Terrifying, yet exhilarating, isn’t it?

You can completely curate the life that you want. BECAUSE you are extraordinary.

You need to know that. You have to be your biggest advocate. You have to be your biggest fan.

So, whether you want to be the most world-renowned pianist, or sell your paintings in an art gallery. Maybe you want to get into the University of your dreams or land the job you’ve wanted since you were a child.

You can be the most extraordinary – but only if you believe it first.

Written by Celina Dawdy