While it’s not common in adulthood to have fits of crying, it does happen from time to time for some reasons including depression, being overwhelmed, personal problems and anxiety.

If you’ve ever been the presence of another person crying, don’t say “stop crying”. Instead, their crying should trigger sympathy within you, and make you want to understand and help them.

Some people are more empathetic than others; there’s nothing wrong with that, it just means some people are better suited to deal with a sad person.

Instead of telling someone to stop crying, here are eight things to say instead, no matter how empathic you are:

1) “Talk to me about it.”

It helps to offer a lending ear to someone who wants to chat. Don’t be offended if they decline the offer; it takes some people time to open up, but eventually, they might take you up on your offer.

2) “It’s okay to be sad.”

Sadness is a natural human emotion, and it’s okay to feel it.

3) “I’m here with you.”

Someone can feel all alone in a room full of people when they’re sad. It can change their perspective when they hear you say that you’re there with them.

4) “I’m here to listen.”

When someone is upset or crying they don’t need to hear someone; they need to be heard. Let them speak, and don’t add in your opinions and ideas.

5) “Let’s solve this together.”

This can be a positive for the upset person in two different ways: They know there’s a way to figure things out, and that they have someone on their team.

6) “Call me when you want to talk.”

As stated in the first response, not everyone is willing to open up right off the bat, but knowing they have a listening ear waiting for them could mean the world.

7) “The same thing has happened to me.”

This is one of the most epithetic things you can say to someone. A similar experience can help find a solution to their current problem.

8) “Don’t be afraid to seek help.”

As much as you want to be there for someone, you might not possess all the right capabilities. If someone is suffering at the hands of domestic violence or from mental illness your help may be limited. You should still be there for them, but also encourage them to seek out professional help.

It’s great that you want to help the person that is crying and upset but make sure that if you say these things you mean it. Don’t tell someone that they can talk to you, then blow them off.